Fake Self-confidence

Are you developing a student who thrive or one who strives?

Strivers and thrivers both have very similar hopes and dreams.

Strivers fall short of success often because they lack the inner strengths, skills and attitudes to achieve their lofty hopes and dreams. They tend to give up when met with obstacles.

Thrivers are different. Thrivers have developed within them an attitude and mindset that compels them to keep trying despite challenges and are more likely to rebound from challenges and overcome adversity.

There are 7 character traits that are common among students who thrive. They are self-confidence, empathy, self-control, integrity, curiosity, perseverance and optimism.

Let’s zoom in on self-confidence today

There is a difference between real self-confidence and pseudo self-confidence.

What real self-confidence is :

Self-confidence is not self esteem. Telling children everyday “Believe in yourself”, ” you are special” and smoothing every bump for them does not build real self-confidence. It has to be developed through life experiences – where they experience failure and rebound again.

I have a 7 year old who hates failing. She would avoid an array of activities (that she has great potential in) just so that she won’t lose / fail. This includes giving it a try at carnival games and playing board games. She just won’t get started if she has to play in front of others. I believe I am not alone.

But, does this mean that we set them up for success each time we play? I sometimes catch myself giving in to her so that she will be encouraged to play more (and to avoid another tantrum episode!). But, does that build real self-confidence?

In the next post, we will be exploring ways to build real self-confidence, students who dare to try, dare to fail and dare to pick themselves up.

When you learn that failing is not a big deal, and learn to look beyond the failure but focus on the lessons each mistake can teach, and have the confidence that you will do better the next round, then you begin to grow the thriver in you.

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